Colony of Losers- Fuck Stigma and Mental Illness, I'm like 25

Surviving your Quarter Life Crisis and becoming an adult


Posted on | July 10, 2017 | No Comments

I like the sound of your voice and the shape of your thoughts but honestly we both know that we didn’t really need to talk

That sounds like an insult but it isn’t

Looking at you makes my head feel like its on fire.

Like there is nothing polite in what I want to do.

If language hadn’t been invented

If society didn’t exist

I don’t think I’d need to say a word before we kissed

We could be total strangers

And this would feel frantically familiar

I know it and you know it

The longer I look at you the faster your heart is going to beat

Excited but not nervous

Like the way you feel when you’ve been in a sweat lodge and there isn’t a toxin left in your body

Head so clean

Like there is this humorous sense of seriousness

Like how absurd is this

That your eyes are dancing and I know exactly what you’re thinking

We’re talking but I know you can feel my lips on your neck

Like my words are coming out of my throat and landing like heat on the tips of your ears

Like my hands are on the table but you know what they’d feel like if there were gripping your thighs

Like what people do in the dark, occurring in the blackness of the pupils of your eyes

Like you can feel every inch of your body and the fabric clinging against your burning hot skin

Ripe like a ripe strawberry balanced between your teeth and tongue

We’re laughing not because anything is funny but because it helps you breath a little faster and you don’t have to say much

We’re talking but that’s just an excuse to look at each other

This isn’t poetry

This is drawn deep down into the DNA

Desire before reason makes it pretty

Before shame and the deification of dignity

God doesn’t live in this house

Your hands fidget wanting to break apart the space between us

Like eyes moving back and forth in sleep

The distance between us is filled with electricity

The only thing completely unnatural between us

As we pretend

And have a polite conversation

Sensing that we are only separated by inches



Leave a Reply

CommentLuv Enabled
  • Introduction to the Cure

  • Peter Diamond Gallery

  • About

    Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalist who suffered a nervous breakdown on November 3rd, 2009. On March 28th, 2010 when he recovered from mental illness, he began writing a blog called Colony-of-losers. About falling on your face to figure out who you are and the hilarious antics of a blond jew. What began with a few friends and his mother reading has become a cult phenomenon, averaging 10,000 views a week, receiving praise from Commonwealth Award Winner Shandi Mitchell and many others. On, November 3rd, 2010, the one year anniversary of his mental breakdown he signed with Anne McDermid and Associates, the largest literary agency in Canada. In a year he went from wearing pajamas, making his couch depression HQ to leaving his hometown for the Toronto, where he exclusively wears business suits and the armor of ancient Greeks. Don't worry, he's still choking on the feet he contently sticks in his mouth and making moments awkward just by being part of them. During these struggles he met other talented bastards and drew them into his circle. Peter Diamond became his illustrator. Patrick Campbell his video editor and part time photographer. He recently added the incredibly talented John Packman as Colony of Losers Toronto photographer. Without the support of the Colony of Losers, Michael Kimber would be nothing. Welcome to the losers and the success that comes from utter and complete failure. You aren’t alone. Follow him on If you’d like to hire him for a public speaking engagement for mental health events in Toronto, like to arrange an interview, offer millions to publish his book or for another reason contact Michael please email him. And join his facebook Colony of Losers.

    Really obvious disclaimer:
    I’m not a trained psychologist. Just a fellow traveler. If you need help seek it from the professionals. The Canadian Mental Health Association provides a help locator. You can find crisis resources provided by the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. If you are in the states check here. It will give you services by zip code. I’d also recommend checking out I think they do great work and have been a help to me personally.

  • Archives