Colony of Losers- Fuck Stigma and Mental Illness, I'm like 25

Surviving your Quarter Life Crisis and becoming an adult

Too Nice

Posted on | August 24, 2017 | No Comments

Girl you got a nice butt

I’m not talking about shape or size but how your butt spends it’s time

I’m talking manners

She’s polite,

Super nice

The type you’d ask advice

And she’d save your life

Stay the whole day by the crossing lights

To help old ladies cross the street

She buys Toms shoes, because she wants her feet to help defeat poverty

Your butt works at the children’s help line, in her spare time

Listening to other people’s problems just to unwind

Because she won’t know how to be unkind

She won’t sleep

Until she knows everyones feeling fine

Her temperament is even

She writes Hallmark cards and Memes because she wants people to know she believes in them

She doesn’t want an Easy Win

She started the Make a Wish Kids Foundation

Because she’s patient and amazing

Your butt is was the videographer on the Bat Boy video

It doesn’t matter if this line rhymes

Your butt did that

And it made me cry

I don’t understand how come children get sick and die

But I just remember what she did for that little guy

Superheroes do exist

She supports you when you sit

And she never complains,

Not even a little bit

She fought for gay marriage and she’s progressive as hell

She’ll pick you up, no matter how far you fell

And the jokes that she’ll tell

Will make you laugh even if you don’t want to

Helps you deal with the ghosts that haunt you

Walk with you through the places that feel haunted

Does it because she wants to

Your butt is Abby and Ilana’s friendship on Broad City

The only one strong enough to fight global warming

Stop the warring

Star Trek and the reason humanity will keep exploring

She listed herself as a kidney donor

Donated one and kept on going

This wasn’t a joke or tomfoolery

This is her eulogy.

She too nice

And she lost her life

I don’t know what the world will be like

Without her light

And wanted to say a few words

About her wonderful life



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  • About

    Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalist who suffered a nervous breakdown on November 3rd, 2009. On March 28th, 2010 when he recovered from mental illness, he began writing a blog called Colony-of-losers. About falling on your face to figure out who you are and the hilarious antics of a blond jew. What began with a few friends and his mother reading has become a cult phenomenon, averaging 10,000 views a week, receiving praise from Commonwealth Award Winner Shandi Mitchell and many others. On, November 3rd, 2010, the one year anniversary of his mental breakdown he signed with Anne McDermid and Associates, the largest literary agency in Canada. In a year he went from wearing pajamas, making his couch depression HQ to leaving his hometown for the Toronto, where he exclusively wears business suits and the armor of ancient Greeks. Don't worry, he's still choking on the feet he contently sticks in his mouth and making moments awkward just by being part of them. During these struggles he met other talented bastards and drew them into his circle. Peter Diamond became his illustrator. Patrick Campbell his video editor and part time photographer. He recently added the incredibly talented John Packman as Colony of Losers Toronto photographer. Without the support of the Colony of Losers, Michael Kimber would be nothing. Welcome to the losers and the success that comes from utter and complete failure. You aren’t alone. Follow him on If you’d like to hire him for a public speaking engagement for mental health events in Toronto, like to arrange an interview, offer millions to publish his book or for another reason contact Michael please email him. And join his facebook Colony of Losers.

    Really obvious disclaimer:
    I’m not a trained psychologist. Just a fellow traveler. If you need help seek it from the professionals. The Canadian Mental Health Association provides a help locator. You can find crisis resources provided by the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. If you are in the states check here. It will give you services by zip code. I’d also recommend checking out I think they do great work and have been a help to me personally.

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