Colony of Losers- Fuck Stigma and Mental Illness, I'm like 25

Surviving your Quarter Life Crisis and becoming an adult

Do The Right Thing

Posted on | September 5, 2017 | No Comments

I feel a noticeable wave of nausea when I see them.

I look down.

Because I have to fight myself. Not to take their signs and break them over my knee. Or shout in their face like an insane person.

Because they want someone to do that. It’s part of the reason they’re out here.

In the middle of a sidewalk on Bloor Street. Determined to do what they imagine to be the right thing.

It’s those assholes with the signs that have a picture of a Fetus at 12 weeks and make a habit of talking to women as they walk by. One of the women has a baby strapped to her shoulder. Most likely her own as kidnapping a child to make this point would seem a little far even for her. She has a determined look. Cocky. Like she has proof that she understands all the complexity of pregnancy. And she has no problem using her child as a prop in her argument.

She dares you to say something.

“Look at my baby! Would you kill my baby?”

She’s the most annoying member of the group.

Now let’s tilt our focus to the right. Militant Christian organizations in Toronto seem to almost uniformly decided to get new immigrants who don’t really speak English as their principal advocates.

I’m not sure who adopted this strategy or what the reason is. But the new to Canada Chinese immigrants stare at their feet. A little anxious but determined not to leave. Even if someone violently disagrees with them. Holding the sign but not really understanding the repulsion they inspire.

I wonder how someone talked them into this.

Most likely under the guise of this will really help you fit in. Canadians like being bothered on the street.

Besides the point…..

I look at the woman triumphantly holding her child. The defiant look on her face. Ready to scrunch up as she explained to the women passing by that they were in fact a murderer. As she passionately explains why  women shouldn’t have a choice. How she can’t possibly understand every person who had to make that choice. And how pretty much no one in the history of time has cackled manically and had an abortion. How no one actually is pro abortion. They just believe that difficult decision shouldn’t ever be forced on anyone.

And I want to yell in her face.

For all the people I know who had to make that difficult choice.

And then I say nothing. I just meet her eyes. And try to memorize what these expression looks like.

How compassion can drain out of your features when you think you’re doing the right thing. How easily anger goes together with that rush of righteousness. I’ve felt that blindness before. I haven’t stood on street corners and lectured women on their right to choose. But I’ve hurt people’s feelings. Because I was certain.

The stop light changes.

I walk across the street.

Revulsion spinning nervous circles through my stomach.

Remembering the expression she made.

Thinking how much of a dick a person can be when they’re sure they are right.




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    Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalist who suffered a nervous breakdown on November 3rd, 2009. On March 28th, 2010 when he recovered from mental illness, he began writing a blog called Colony-of-losers. About falling on your face to figure out who you are and the hilarious antics of a blond jew. What began with a few friends and his mother reading has become a cult phenomenon, averaging 10,000 views a week, receiving praise from Commonwealth Award Winner Shandi Mitchell and many others. On, November 3rd, 2010, the one year anniversary of his mental breakdown he signed with Anne McDermid and Associates, the largest literary agency in Canada. In a year he went from wearing pajamas, making his couch depression HQ to leaving his hometown for the Toronto, where he exclusively wears business suits and the armor of ancient Greeks. Don't worry, he's still choking on the feet he contently sticks in his mouth and making moments awkward just by being part of them. During these struggles he met other talented bastards and drew them into his circle. Peter Diamond became his illustrator. Patrick Campbell his video editor and part time photographer. He recently added the incredibly talented John Packman as Colony of Losers Toronto photographer. Without the support of the Colony of Losers, Michael Kimber would be nothing. Welcome to the losers and the success that comes from utter and complete failure. You aren’t alone. Follow him on If you’d like to hire him for a public speaking engagement for mental health events in Toronto, like to arrange an interview, offer millions to publish his book or for another reason contact Michael please email him. And join his facebook Colony of Losers.

    Really obvious disclaimer:
    I’m not a trained psychologist. Just a fellow traveler. If you need help seek it from the professionals. The Canadian Mental Health Association provides a help locator. You can find crisis resources provided by the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. If you are in the states check here. It will give you services by zip code. I’d also recommend checking out I think they do great work and have been a help to me personally.

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