Coming Out Crazy: The silence that kill us

On June 30th, 2010, I told the world about my struggles with mental illness. For those of you late to the game, my name is Michael Gray Kimber and I suffer from intense anxiety. My claim to this glorious tradition is genetic, fuelled by years where I smoked pounds of marijuana, ate poorly combined with [...]

Rendezvous with Madness, My Suicide and Piss Paranoia

I suffer from a serious condition called “movie theatre bathroom thirst paranoia”. As soon as I take my seat the psychological warfare begins. My throat becomes parched and I suddenly need something to drink. If I don’t have water with me I find the nearest faucet and give into my thirst. Once I have done [...]

Cure#19: Making the Devil Dance

“It’s good to be making music again,” I say. “I don’t think we’ve done this since we free styled that song about sacrificing a virgin at that party. You know the night that guy smashed a glass on your face.” Surprisingly we’ve done two songs about sacrificing a virgin but there seems little reason to [...]

Origins of Colony of Losers: The Day That No One Could Save Me

Reprinted with permission from Halifax Magazine’s October 3rd issue. THE DAY THAT NO ONE COULD SAVE ME An up-and-coming Halifax writer explains how a nervous breakdown jumpstarted his career By Michael Kimber Editor’s Note: Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalism graduate who created Colony-of-Losers.com, a record of his quarter-life crisis and struggle to grow up [...]

Michael Kimber’s insane book proposal

Do you know what its like having to try to breath I can remember when I couldn’t remember sleep For days and weeks When I was scared to death of it, because my mind which hated me wouldn’t leave Michael Kimber was barely there, adapting to speak, during rare moments of release, when exercise gave [...]

My sister leaves the Colony

We are on our way back from family dinner in my sister Emily’s car. Her financee Greg is in the front seat, trying to find “America Fuck Yeah” on a cd of novelty songs he keeps in the car. I haven’t sleep very much in a long time and they are giving me a pep [...]

Permission to Panic: Chaz Thorne’s Whirligig

At the age of 25, I had a nervous breakdown. A combination of a genetic predisposition to anxiety and a generational predisposition to getting an arts degree and believing a future would lie at the end of it, lead me to panic in a world where the Great Capitalist experiment is in the process of [...]

Cure#17: My best friend when I was 12 years old

“A Funeral” by Peter Diamond. Dressed in a perfectly pressed black suit I look like an emaciated super model before arriving for make up in the morning. I put on my most carefree smile and shake their hands with enthusiasm. Across the table are three incredibly sweet women who will decide whether I get the [...]

Cure#16: Jersey Shore, Sleep Deprivation Diet and Spinning

My eyes can’t focus. They keep blinking me in and out of consciousness. A lot of stupid people are talking and I have trouble paying attention. They all have New Jersey accents but their dialogue is nowhere near as clever as the Sopranos. “What is this show called again?” I ask. “Jersey Shore,” Paddy replies. [...]

Cure#15: Khyber Wednesdays and the best Jewish Hispanic dancing in the world

I’m not a good dancer by traditional definitions. “You’re really grooving tonight,” she says. “I’m too drunk to know if you’re being sarcastic,” I reply. She laughs and the sound races up my chest like an elevator on the way to the top floor. “You liking your booze, Michael,” she says. “Becoming a regular alcoholic.” [...]

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About

Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalist who suffered a nervous breakdown on November 3rd, 2009. On March 28th, 2010 when he recovered from mental illness, he began writing a blog called Colony-of-losers. About falling on your face to figure out who you are and the hilarious antics of a blond jew. What began with a few friends and his mother reading has become a cult phenomenon, averaging 10,000 views a week, receiving praise from Commonwealth Award Winner Shandi Mitchell and many others. On, November 3rd, 2010, the one year anniversary of his mental breakdown he signed with Anne McDermid and Associates, the largest literary agency in Canada. In a year he went from wearing pajamas, making his couch depression HQ to leaving his hometown for the Toronto, where he exclusively wears business suits and the armor of ancient Greeks. Don't worry, he's still choking on the feet he contently sticks in his mouth and making moments awkward just by being part of them. During these struggles he met other talented bastards and drew them into his circle. Peter Diamond became his illustrator. Patrick Campbell his video editor and part time photographer. He recently added the incredibly talented John Packman as Colony of Losers Toronto photographer. Without the support of the Colony of Losers, Michael Kimber would be nothing. Welcome to the losers and the success that comes from utter and complete failure. You aren’t alone. Follow him on twitter.com/colonyoflosersand twitter.com/quimbo. If you’d like to hire him for a public speaking engagement for mental health events in Toronto, like to arrange an interview, offer millions to publish his book or for another reason contact Michael please email him. And join his facebook Colony of Losers.

Really obvious disclaimer:
I’m not a trained psychologist. Just a fellow traveler. If you need help seek it from the professionals. The Canadian Mental Health Association provides a help locator. You can find crisis resources provided by the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. If you are in the states check here. It will give you services by zip code. I’d also recommend checking out Mindyourmind.ca. I think they do great work and have been a help to me personally.

Fantastic Thoughts of Quimbo

I suffer from anxiety, being a twenty something and having an awesome blog. Check out colony-of-losers.com

Great meal last night with @jusfrais @SALTwinebar. Service was exceptional, food was amazing.They really know how to treat a customer right

"what a bunch of greasy cheeseballs" -the hippy

#SavePicnicface
http://t.co/mN0dWQsq

I miss the days when you were good looking for being famous, rather than famous for being good looking.

Who told you that Bob Saget died?

Why did duelling go out of fashion?

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