Colony of Losers- Fuck Stigma and Mental Illness, I'm like 25

Surviving your Quarter Life Crisis and becoming an adult

This Is Not An Emergency

“Sorry. Your crisis isn’t enough for us to keep you,” said the doctor. “This isn’t an emergency.” Through my time trying to help others I have acquired an intimate secret. The place where your empathy burns on endless fuel of black pitch and bile. The exact location where your heart and brain meet. I know [...]

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MEANING OF LIFE: TITS ON PURPOSE

I was sitting in Kensington Market when I saw a beautiful topless girl. This sparked a thought that would go from Facebook photoshopped statuses to genocide to the miracle of life, and a meaning beyond purpose. Enjoy the view.

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English Lessons

“This girl at Kevin’s party didn’t like my Western shirt,” I say to the French girl. “Neither did I. It was a stupid shirt.” It isn’t a stupid shirt, it is blue and has cactus and makes me look like a Jewish cowboy.  This isn’t the time to get into this argument. This is her [...]

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Book of Job Chapter 1: Loving Kindness Meditation for Motherfuckers

Free at 23 It was the summer of Arab Spring where a few thousand Western Jerk offs claimed responsibility for changing the world with their twitter accounts. Where Arabs fought and died for a dream of a democracy we’d long since abandoned. Where a famine struck Africa and a few people wondered why there wasn’t [...]

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That time in a week where I decide to fix my life and make a list

Today is the one year anniversary of Colony of Losers creation. Thank you to all the fans, friends and absolute strangers. 300,000 views in a year ain’t bad. Hopefully next year we will hit a million. Thanks to everyone who has helped, especially Patrick Campbell, Herman O Dagwood, John Packman, Peter Diamond, Egg Films, CBC, [...]

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Chronicle Herald: Brutal Honesty on Blogger’s Site

About last year at this time, Michael Kimber had lost his job and was on the verge of losing the most important relationship in his life. He had struggled with sleeplessness, severe depression and anxiety since 2009, after graduating from a journalism program in Halifax. At that time, as he says in his poem The [...]

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Barbershop of Horrors and November 3rd

I’m in a barbershop in Toronto wishing that I was in Halifax getting a hair cut from Phat.  Phat is my Vietnamese master of bullshit barber who always promises his haircuts will get me laid. I’m fairly certain this haircut will not come with the same guarantee.  I hate sitting through a haircut when the [...]

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Origins of Colony of Losers: The Day That No One Could Save Me

Reprinted with permission from Halifax Magazine’s October 3rd issue. THE DAY THAT NO ONE COULD SAVE ME An up-and-coming Halifax writer explains how a nervous breakdown jumpstarted his career By Michael Kimber Editor’s Note: Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalism graduate who created Colony-of-Losers.com, a record of his quarter-life crisis and struggle to grow up [...]

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The Birds illustrated by Mike Holmes

Welcome to the Colony of Losers, a world of quarter life crises, anxiety, depression and the friends and the failures on the way to finding your future. This is the story of Michael Kimber’s panicked fall into adulthood. So I’m not the best at dealing with technological difficulties. So I noticed that the comic was [...]

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Finishing University: Graduating Into the Colony of Losers

“So what are you going to do now?” Crickets commit suicide. “Become an exterminator,” I say. “Kill birds.” He didn’t expect that to be my answer. Neither did I. “I fucking hate birds.” People have a habit of asking incredibly insensitive questions as small talk. “What are you going to do now” is the worst [...]

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  • Introduction to the Cure



  • Peter Diamond Gallery

  • About

    Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalist who suffered a nervous breakdown on November 3rd, 2009. On March 28th, 2010 when he recovered from mental illness, he began writing a blog called Colony-of-losers. About falling on your face to figure out who you are and the hilarious antics of a blond jew. What began with a few friends and his mother reading has become a cult phenomenon, averaging 10,000 views a week, receiving praise from Commonwealth Award Winner Shandi Mitchell and many others. On, November 3rd, 2010, the one year anniversary of his mental breakdown he signed with Anne McDermid and Associates, the largest literary agency in Canada. In a year he went from wearing pajamas, making his couch depression HQ to leaving his hometown for the Toronto, where he exclusively wears business suits and the armor of ancient Greeks. Don't worry, he's still choking on the feet he contently sticks in his mouth and making moments awkward just by being part of them. During these struggles he met other talented bastards and drew them into his circle. Peter Diamond became his illustrator. Patrick Campbell his video editor and part time photographer. He recently added the incredibly talented John Packman as Colony of Losers Toronto photographer. Without the support of the Colony of Losers, Michael Kimber would be nothing. Welcome to the losers and the success that comes from utter and complete failure. You aren’t alone. Follow him on twitter.com/colonyoflosersand twitter.com/quimbo. If you’d like to hire him for a public speaking engagement for mental health events in Toronto, like to arrange an interview, offer millions to publish his book or for another reason contact Michael please email him. And join his facebook Colony of Losers.

    Really obvious disclaimer:
    I’m not a trained psychologist. Just a fellow traveler. If you need help seek it from the professionals. The Canadian Mental Health Association provides a help locator. You can find crisis resources provided by the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. If you are in the states check here. It will give you services by zip code. I’d also recommend checking out Mindyourmind.ca. I think they do great work and have been a help to me personally.

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