Colony of Losers- Fuck Stigma and Mental Illness, I'm like 25

Surviving your Quarter Life Crisis and becoming an adult

Happy Holidays#2: BDSM, Wheelchairs and Pointless War(Traveling With Porter)

It’s perfectly normal when boarding an airplane to imagine what it would be like crashing into a mountain or exploding in mid-air. I notice strained faces and clenched hands as we move down the runway before take off. I go through my life in montage mode, smiling, wanting to look at the elderly black woman [...]


Cure#18: Sex, Drugs and Raoul

A lot of the moments where my life changed looked exactly the same. My head slunked to my chest, eyes blurry from lack of sleep, my eight-year-old computer resting on my lap.  People passing by didn’t realize that my friends and family were engaging in the titanic task of holding me up as I staggered [...]


Permission to Panic: Chaz Thorne’s Whirligig

At the age of 25, I had a nervous breakdown. A combination of a genetic predisposition to anxiety and a generational predisposition to getting an arts degree and believing a future would lie at the end of it, lead me to panic in a world where the Great Capitalist experiment is in the process of [...]


Cure#10: Muggles, Madness and Professional Help

December 4th, 2009 Running away from myself is how I spend my days. Running back only happens after my daily exercise at the Hotel Atlantica gym. With the exhaustation comes a moment of lucidity, like an Alzheimer’s patient who remembers everything they forget. The excess adrenaline that torments me has been spent. I can see [...]


The Cure#6: Nurse Betty

November 19th, 2009 My girlfriend kisses me on the mouth and leaves me alone with her mother. It’s one in the afternoon and I haven’t eaten yet or slept. “Betty” is blond with a streak of silver hair with big glasses and crystal blue eyes. Put simply she is one of the nicest women in [...]


The Cure#5: Insomnia in the Land of Dreams

November 19th, 2009 Go to sleep. Go to fucking sleep. A signal has been sent from my brain to my body that if I fall asleep something bad is going to happen. My bed has suddenly become a prison. My conscious mind is telling my body that there is nothing wrong. I’m lying next to [...]


Making of Martinez#3: Ecstasy and Carousels

His rap career—like most things involving my brother—began as a result of a girl. While staying at the top of Middle Bay—the  same residence where I would chat with acidheads about my lovelorn life while having a panic attack—my brother was falling in love. Not with the girl. He was fucking sick of the girl. [...]


The Cure#4:Going Nuts and Buying Almonds

November 18th, 2009 “Where are the nuts?” I ask the clerk. He looks at me like I’m an idiot. I realize I’m not being specific enough. “The almonds.” He points to an aisle at the end of the gigantic store. “Thanks,” I say and begin my journey. There is a chemical in your brain called [...]


The Cure#3: So You Have Anxiety

November 16th, 2009 The room is completely empty except a very jowly woman readying her presentation. Empty chairs surround the circular table where other people should be sitting. I’m in a self-help group and I am the only one who showed up for class. Her presentation is Power Point and she makes jokes about how [...]


The Cure#2: Reassuring Myself to Panic

November 3, 2009 Trying to find the date my life changed has obsessed me since things began spinning out of control. I felt if I could find the exact place and time where the balances tipped I could reach out and grab hold of that Archimedes point and shift the universe back in my favor. [...]

keep looking »
  • Introduction to the Cure

  • Peter Diamond Gallery

  • About

    Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalist who suffered a nervous breakdown on November 3rd, 2009. On March 28th, 2010 when he recovered from mental illness, he began writing a blog called Colony-of-losers. About falling on your face to figure out who you are and the hilarious antics of a blond jew. What began with a few friends and his mother reading has become a cult phenomenon, averaging 10,000 views a week, receiving praise from Commonwealth Award Winner Shandi Mitchell and many others. On, November 3rd, 2010, the one year anniversary of his mental breakdown he signed with Anne McDermid and Associates, the largest literary agency in Canada. In a year he went from wearing pajamas, making his couch depression HQ to leaving his hometown for the Toronto, where he exclusively wears business suits and the armor of ancient Greeks. Don't worry, he's still choking on the feet he contently sticks in his mouth and making moments awkward just by being part of them. During these struggles he met other talented bastards and drew them into his circle. Peter Diamond became his illustrator. Patrick Campbell his video editor and part time photographer. He recently added the incredibly talented John Packman as Colony of Losers Toronto photographer. Without the support of the Colony of Losers, Michael Kimber would be nothing. Welcome to the losers and the success that comes from utter and complete failure. You aren’t alone. Follow him on If you’d like to hire him for a public speaking engagement for mental health events in Toronto, like to arrange an interview, offer millions to publish his book or for another reason contact Michael please email him. And join his facebook Colony of Losers.

    Really obvious disclaimer:
    I’m not a trained psychologist. Just a fellow traveler. If you need help seek it from the professionals. The Canadian Mental Health Association provides a help locator. You can find crisis resources provided by the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. If you are in the states check here. It will give you services by zip code. I’d also recommend checking out I think they do great work and have been a help to me personally.

  • Archives