Words from Myself As A 75 Year Old British Man

Members of the Colony might remember that two years ago I found myself on the internet and his name was Michael G Kimber and he wrote novels that he posted online. You can read about it here: http://colony-of-losers.com/wordpress/2010/12/10/the-return-of-michael-george-kimber/ He is 75 years old and British. Immediately we had a strange kinship you can only experience [...]

MEANING OF LIFE: TITS ON PURPOSE

I was sitting in Kensington Market when I saw a beautiful topless girl. This sparked a thought that would go from Facebook photoshopped statuses to genocide to the miracle of life, and a meaning beyond purpose. Enjoy the view.

Barbershop of Horrors and November 3rd

I’m in a barbershop in Toronto wishing that I was in Halifax getting a hair cut from Phat. Phat is my Vietnamese master of bullshit barber who always promises his haircuts will get me laid. I’m fairly certain this haircut will not come with the same guarantee. I hate sitting through a haircut when the [...]

What the fuck is Urban Camping?

“No, seriously let’s go to the Commons,” I say. “Right now. I’ll make friends. I promise.” My buddy gives me a look that means shut the fuck up but I cannot be stopped because I’ve had a coca cola and I don’t drink caffeine and I’m buzzing like a kid at a five grade birthday [...]

Letter to A Man Who Spams To Save My Sanity

When I got fucked up I went looking for some sort of one step cure to end my anxiety. Much of it is humiliating to recount. I practiced mindfulness meditation on my floor while my roommates’ cat pawed at my face and wondered why this human was acting so strangely. I watched YouTube videos that [...]

Spirit Day: Children are dead and all we have left are fashion statements

I don’t own any Purple. If I did I would be wearing it today in honor of Spirit Day. I lack the clothes so instead I’m going to speak my mind on behalf of my LGBT friends. And the deep well of pain I feel when I think of what each of them has to [...]

Cure#19: Making the Devil Dance

“It’s good to be making music again,” I say. “I don’t think we’ve done this since we free styled that song about sacrificing a virgin at that party. You know the night that guy smashed a glass on your face.” Surprisingly we’ve done two songs about sacrificing a virgin but there seems little reason to [...]

Origins of Colony of Losers: The Day That No One Could Save Me

Reprinted with permission from Halifax Magazine’s October 3rd issue. THE DAY THAT NO ONE COULD SAVE ME An up-and-coming Halifax writer explains how a nervous breakdown jumpstarted his career By Michael Kimber Editor’s Note: Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalism graduate who created Colony-of-Losers.com, a record of his quarter-life crisis and struggle to grow up [...]

Michael Kimber’s insane book proposal

Do you know what its like having to try to breath I can remember when I couldn’t remember sleep For days and weeks When I was scared to death of it, because my mind which hated me wouldn’t leave Michael Kimber was barely there, adapting to speak, during rare moments of release, when exercise gave [...]

Cure#18: Sex, Drugs and Raoul

A lot of the moments where my life changed looked exactly the same. My head slunked to my chest, eyes blurry from lack of sleep, my eight-year-old computer resting on my lap. People passing by didn’t realize that my friends and family were engaging in the titanic task of holding me up as I staggered [...]

keep looking »

About

Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalist who suffered a nervous breakdown on November 3rd, 2009. On March 28th, 2010 when he recovered from mental illness, he began writing a blog called Colony-of-losers. About falling on your face to figure out who you are and the hilarious antics of a blond jew. What began with a few friends and his mother reading has become a cult phenomenon, averaging 10,000 views a week, receiving praise from Commonwealth Award Winner Shandi Mitchell and many others. On, November 3rd, 2010, the one year anniversary of his mental breakdown he signed with Anne McDermid and Associates, the largest literary agency in Canada. In a year he went from wearing pajamas, making his couch depression HQ to leaving his hometown for the Toronto, where he exclusively wears business suits and the armor of ancient Greeks. Don't worry, he's still choking on the feet he contently sticks in his mouth and making moments awkward just by being part of them. During these struggles he met other talented bastards and drew them into his circle. Peter Diamond became his illustrator. Patrick Campbell his video editor and part time photographer. He recently added the incredibly talented John Packman as Colony of Losers Toronto photographer. Without the support of the Colony of Losers, Michael Kimber would be nothing. Welcome to the losers and the success that comes from utter and complete failure. You aren’t alone. Follow him on twitter.com/colonyoflosersand twitter.com/quimbo. If you’d like to hire him for a public speaking engagement for mental health events in Toronto, like to arrange an interview, offer millions to publish his book or for another reason contact Michael please email him. And join his facebook Colony of Losers.

Really obvious disclaimer:
I’m not a trained psychologist. Just a fellow traveler. If you need help seek it from the professionals. The Canadian Mental Health Association provides a help locator. You can find crisis resources provided by the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. If you are in the states check here. It will give you services by zip code. I’d also recommend checking out Mindyourmind.ca. I think they do great work and have been a help to me personally.