Failure of Imagination: Rants on Porn, Depression, Love and Tragedy

The first time I really thought about the concept of Me, involved eating a chewy handful of mushrooms in my first year of university. I was 18 years old, playing the friendliest game of NHL 94 in the history of time with my best friend. I was thirsty but all I had was orange juice [...]

RIP Raymond Taavel: A Life Lost, Left With Only A Dream, My City

Since the violent death of Raymond Taavel at the hands of Noel Denny on April 16th, 2012, I have been inundated with emails, asking me to speak out against the mental health system that would allow Andre Noel Denny onto the streets to commit his murder. To extend some sort of olive branch in the [...]

Cure#10: Muggles, Madness and Professional Help

December 4th, 2009 Running away from myself is how I spend my days. Running back only happens after my daily exercise at the Hotel Atlantica gym. With the exhaustation comes a moment of lucidity, like an Alzheimer’s patient who remembers everything they forget. The excess adrenaline that torments me has been spent. I can see [...]

The Cure#8: A Mother’s Love

November 25th, 2009 A plastic cartoon dog wobbles his head back and forth, attached to the dash of my mother’s car, mocking my sleepless state. His name is Frank and my mother got him at a fast food restaurant back in the days when Men In Black was first released. I stare into his eyes, [...]

The Cure#2: Reassuring Myself to Panic

November 3, 2009 Trying to find the date my life changed has obsessed me since things began spinning out of control. I felt if I could find the exact place and time where the balances tipped I could reach out and grab hold of that Archimedes point and shift the universe back in my favor. [...]

The Cure#1: Heart and Mind

It’s my first year of university. My body is slung over the railing that runs up and down Middle Bay, the residence building that I live in at King’s College, looking down at a spot that has been littered with vomit by very wealthy people for several generations. Breathing is difficult and not just because [...]

Colony of Losers Day 6: Call Centers Part 2: Scam Call Centers

Lower Than You Can Go: There are legitimate call centers and there are also scam call centers. I have worked at both. While legitimate call centers make you into a robot, scam call centers make you feel like the worst piece of shit the universe ever crapped out. My job at XXXXX Credit Solutions can [...]

Colony of Losers-Day 4-Meet Nole Kimber

Welcome back to the Colony of Losers. Today I’m going to introduce you to one of the most important members of my own colony. His name is Nole. He recently turned 19 and two years ago he became my brother. How this happened is as strange as the man himself. Over the years, I’ve gotten [...]

About

Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalist who suffered a nervous breakdown on November 3rd, 2009. On March 28th, 2010 when he recovered from mental illness, he began writing a blog called Colony-of-losers. About falling on your face to figure out who you are and the hilarious antics of a blond jew. What began with a few friends and his mother reading has become a cult phenomenon, averaging 10,000 views a week, receiving praise from Commonwealth Award Winner Shandi Mitchell and many others. On, November 3rd, 2010, the one year anniversary of his mental breakdown he signed with Anne McDermid and Associates, the largest literary agency in Canada. In a year he went from wearing pajamas, making his couch depression HQ to leaving his hometown for the Toronto, where he exclusively wears business suits and the armor of ancient Greeks. Don't worry, he's still choking on the feet he contently sticks in his mouth and making moments awkward just by being part of them. During these struggles he met other talented bastards and drew them into his circle. Peter Diamond became his illustrator. Patrick Campbell his video editor and part time photographer. He recently added the incredibly talented John Packman as Colony of Losers Toronto photographer. Without the support of the Colony of Losers, Michael Kimber would be nothing. Welcome to the losers and the success that comes from utter and complete failure. You aren’t alone. Follow him on twitter.com/colonyoflosersand twitter.com/quimbo. If you’d like to hire him for a public speaking engagement for mental health events in Toronto, like to arrange an interview, offer millions to publish his book or for another reason contact Michael please email him. And join his facebook Colony of Losers.

Really obvious disclaimer:
I’m not a trained psychologist. Just a fellow traveler. If you need help seek it from the professionals. The Canadian Mental Health Association provides a help locator. You can find crisis resources provided by the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. If you are in the states check here. It will give you services by zip code. I’d also recommend checking out Mindyourmind.ca. I think they do great work and have been a help to me personally.

Fantastic Thoughts of Quimbo

I suffer from anxiety, being a twenty something and having an awesome blog. Check out colony-of-losers.com

Obama should do this to Romney

Do you think the Coca Cola executive who made up Santa is in hell being tortured by the baby jesus?

I shaved my neck beard increasing my general level of handsomeness. This made me feel fit. I didn't go to the gym today for this reason.

I saw a man reading Audacity of Hope in Starbucks with tears rolling down his cheeks. The question is for what reason?

I always count on someone at a bar to instruct me to become a better person. I learned don't go to Walmart, they killed 3 billion kids.#true

Give it up for all the kids who used to chew on their hoodie handles of their sweaters.

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