MEANING OF LIFE: TITS ON PURPOSE

I was sitting in Kensington Market when I saw a beautiful topless girl. This sparked a thought that would go from Facebook photoshopped statuses to genocide to the miracle of life, and a meaning beyond purpose. Enjoy the view.

Monsters Don’t Hit Women, Our Friends Do

I’m at an art gallery, drinking before I have eaten, trying my best to look sophisticated. I see pictures of Bill Clinton tenderly kissing Hilary on the lips, love in his eyes, staring at a woman he will disgrace and throw into the upper echelons of American politics. I see Michael Jackson on a swing [...]

Scared to Death of Cops and Other Terrible Headlines

Correction: Apparently the man who died was in fact a 45 year old man who resembled an old man. Apparently he had suffered brain injuries previous to the encounter and was unable to communicate properly with the officers when they asked for his name. However his mother who took care of him was apparently at [...]

That time in a week where I decide to fix my life and make a list

Today is the one year anniversary of Colony of Losers creation. Thank you to all the fans, friends and absolute strangers. 300,000 views in a year ain’t bad. Hopefully next year we will hit a million. Thanks to everyone who has helped, especially Patrick Campbell, Herman O Dagwood, John Packman, Peter Diamond, Egg Films, CBC, [...]

A Letter to Politicians And People: Let’s Talk About Mental Illness

I never learned anything about mental illness in school. My education has been watching my friend’s collapse, chase drug addictions and commit suicide. At 25, my life fell apart. I suffered a nervous breakdown brought on by intense anxiety. By the end I was down to two hours of sleep a night, trapped in a [...]

Tucson, September 11th, the danger of easy solutions and a feast of bullshit

Christina Green was born on September 11, 2001 and died January 9th, 2011 when Jared Lee Loughner opened fire on Congresswoman Danielle Gifford in a mall in Tucson, Arizona. Five others were killed and 14 injured. You probably know that. If you’ve paid a lot of attention you also know that the Congressman is married [...]

Come Out

Coming Out of The Crazy Closet#2: Not another bullshit awareness campaign

My name is Michael Gray Kimber and I suffer from intense anxiety. I’ve decided to talk about it and recently I’ve been trying to get others to do the same. I’ve been incredibly honored by the dozens of emails and Facebook private messages I’ve received from so many of you in the last week. As [...]

Barbershop of Horrors and November 3rd

I’m in a barbershop in Toronto wishing that I was in Halifax getting a hair cut from Phat. Phat is my Vietnamese master of bullshit barber who always promises his haircuts will get me laid. I’m fairly certain this haircut will not come with the same guarantee. I hate sitting through a haircut when the [...]

The Cure#4:Going Nuts and Buying Almonds

November 18th, 2009 “Where are the nuts?” I ask the clerk. He looks at me like I’m an idiot. I realize I’m not being specific enough. “The almonds.” He points to an aisle at the end of the gigantic store. “Thanks,” I say and begin my journey. There is a chemical in your brain called [...]

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About

Michael Kimber is a 26-year-old journalist who suffered a nervous breakdown on November 3rd, 2009. On March 28th, 2010 when he recovered from mental illness, he began writing a blog called Colony-of-losers. About falling on your face to figure out who you are and the hilarious antics of a blond jew. What began with a few friends and his mother reading has become a cult phenomenon, averaging 10,000 views a week, receiving praise from Commonwealth Award Winner Shandi Mitchell and many others. On, November 3rd, 2010, the one year anniversary of his mental breakdown he signed with Anne McDermid and Associates, the largest literary agency in Canada. In a year he went from wearing pajamas, making his couch depression HQ to leaving his hometown for the Toronto, where he exclusively wears business suits and the armor of ancient Greeks. Don't worry, he's still choking on the feet he contently sticks in his mouth and making moments awkward just by being part of them. During these struggles he met other talented bastards and drew them into his circle. Peter Diamond became his illustrator. Patrick Campbell his video editor and part time photographer. He recently added the incredibly talented John Packman as Colony of Losers Toronto photographer. Without the support of the Colony of Losers, Michael Kimber would be nothing. Welcome to the losers and the success that comes from utter and complete failure. You aren’t alone. Follow him on twitter.com/colonyoflosersand twitter.com/quimbo. If you’d like to hire him for a public speaking engagement for mental health events in Toronto, like to arrange an interview, offer millions to publish his book or for another reason contact Michael please email him. And join his facebook Colony of Losers.

Really obvious disclaimer:
I’m not a trained psychologist. Just a fellow traveler. If you need help seek it from the professionals. The Canadian Mental Health Association provides a help locator. You can find crisis resources provided by the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. If you are in the states check here. It will give you services by zip code. I’d also recommend checking out Mindyourmind.ca. I think they do great work and have been a help to me personally.

Fantastic Thoughts of Quimbo

I suffer from anxiety, being a twenty something and having an awesome blog. Check out colony-of-losers.com

Obama should do this to Romney

Do you think the Coca Cola executive who made up Santa is in hell being tortured by the baby jesus?

I shaved my neck beard increasing my general level of handsomeness. This made me feel fit. I didn't go to the gym today for this reason.

I saw a man reading Audacity of Hope in Starbucks with tears rolling down his cheeks. The question is for what reason?

I always count on someone at a bar to instruct me to become a better person. I learned don't go to Walmart, they killed 3 billion kids.#true

Give it up for all the kids who used to chew on their hoodie handles of their sweaters.

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